Spring is in the air this Sunday morning in the Northeast.  Easter is one week away, the buds on the trees are just beginning to come alive.  It is a magical time of year.  A time of year that is full of hope, freshness, new earnestness.

It is also exactly when my health started to fade last year.  Started with some bruising, then progressed to not being able to run as far as hard as normal, then got steadily worse til I ended up in the ER with very few blood cells.

So this time around spring has a different feel.  For me it is more personal and internal.

In past springs the prevailing feeling was external.  Lighter jackets, days are getting longer, March Madness, the Masters and baseball in the air, outdoor cafe with friends:  all signs that a new cycle was upon us.  Almost a feeling, throughout the winter, that if spring just comes, what ever was getting me down or lacking in my life throughout the winter will be wiped clean.  And most of the time we do feel better.  Spring usually delivers.  We plan outings, social events, vacations and  fill up our weekends with all kinds of wonderful transporting experiences.

Then we are happy!  Fulfilled and at peace…….   Really?  Is this how it works?

One of the main nuggets of wisdom that I have gleaned over the past year is this:  Happiness is not dependent on external forces.

Simply saying “happiness must come from within”, or “don’t worry, be happy” or “just act happy” doesn’t seems to cut it either.  The Secret isn’t to fake it.

Something more is in action.  Maybe something closer to;  Happiness is consistently getting your own needs met. 


Spend some serious time figuring out what you really want.  Then don’t be afraid to say that you want it.

When you speak, say what is true for you right then.  Pick being true over being nice.

When faced with any situation, ponder how you can act and maneuver and be.  Not on what is happening “to you”.  A traffic jam was not put there to specifically make you angry.  It’s just there.

In general, the more we take responsibility for steering our own ship and Leading Our Own Life, the less our happiness is dependent on outside forces.

So when you walk out into the gorgeous spring day.  Breath it in deeply with gratitude and think of it as a BONUS.

Love and happiness,


About tomkelley
Counselor, facilitator at LifeLeadersForum, father of a little angel and husband of a Goddess

3 Responses to Happiness

  1. Bettie Harrison says:

    I love the way you think. You should write more things like this.
    only thing is…..it isn’t easy to consistently get your needs met. But something to work on.

  2. Jane Burns says:

    Great perspective! You’ve found your calling, so glad you’re listening to it. Thank you, Tom!

  3. Trent says:

    Isnt it amazing how truth always seems to sound just right?

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